10 Ways You Know Your Internet Connection Is A Little Slow

10. Text on Web pages displays as Morse Code

 9. Graphics arrive via FedEx

 8. You believe a heavier string might improve your connection

 7. You post a message to your favorite newsgroup and it displays a week later

 6. Your credit card expires while ordering online

 5. ESPN Web site exhibits "Heisman Trophy Winner" ...for 1989

 4. You're still in the middle of downloading that popular new game, "PacMan"

 3. Everyone you talk to on the 'net phone' sounds like Forrest Gump

 2. You receive e-mails with stamps on them

 1. When you click the "Send" button, a little door opens on the side of your monitor and a pigeon flies out.